-live.laugh.love-

what would king solomon have said bout social media?

2010-10-15T10:31:00.001+08:00

If Solomon were alive today and we were to ask him how we are to relate to one another in this digital world, if we were to ask him how we can honor God in our use of all these social media available to us today, here is how he might respond.

Count to ten before posting, sharing, sending, submitting. “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him (29:20).” How many arguments could be avoided and how many relationships saved if people were only a little less hasty with their words? Before posting an article or before replying to a Facebook status, it is always (always!) a good idea to re-read what you have written and consider if your words accurately express your feelings and if expressing such feelings is necessary and edifying. And while I’m on the topic, a spell-check doesn’t hurt either.

Know when to walk away. “If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet (29:9).” There are times when you need to walk away instead of carrying on an argument. Foolish people have no real desire to learn or to be wise. Instead, they only seek opportunities to loudly proclaim the folly. Walk away so you can have peace. Shut down, log off, erase—do what you need to.

Mind your own business. “Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears (26:17).” If you have ever grabbed a dog by the ears you know it will inevitably bring trouble. Grabbing a strange dog by the ears will bring even more trouble. Stay out of other people’s fights rather than wading into them as if they are your own. There may be times to wade into a theological dispute or to try to mediate a disagreement in the blogosphere, but wisdom would usually tell you to mind your own business.

Jesus - the only way to live

2010-09-28T13:14:00.002+08:00

I am tempted to re-start blogging.
It's a much better way to remember God's goodness when i look back, rather than facebook statuses. ah well, let's see if i can keep up this discipline :)

reminder for today - Lord, teach me to value most what's infinitely valuable, namely YOU.

Achiever?

2010-08-12T15:57:00.002+08:00

According to strengthfinger - my #3 strength was Achiever.
The book describes it:

"... a constant need for achievement. You feel as if every day starts at zero. By the end of the day you must achieve something tangible in order to feel good about yourself. And by "every day" you mean every single day - workdays, weekends, vacations. No matter how much you may feel you deserve a day of rest, if the day passes without some form of achievement, no matter how small, you will feel dissatisfied ... After each achievement is reached, the fire dwindles for a moment, but very soon it rekindles itself, forcing you toward the next accomplishment. Your relentless need for achievement might not be logical. It might not even be focused. But it will always be with you. As an achiever you must learn to live with this whisper of discontent. It does have its benefits. It brings you the energy you need to work long hours without burning out. It is the jolt you can always count on to get you started on new tasks, new challenges. It is the power supply that causes you to set the pace and define the levels of productivity for your work group. Its the theme that keeps you moving. "

"Whisper of discontent" ... how true. and I wonder whether that is a blessing or a curse.

if i dun submit this to God, im so sure my perfectionism and drivenness will kill me one day.. as its already killing me in the form of flu.

eat, pray, love

2009-12-07T16:30:00.004+08:00

some quotes from the book i really like :)

- "travelling is the great true love of my life. i always felt, ever since i was 16..., that to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. am loyal and constant in my love for travel... i feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby - i just don't care what it puts me through. because i adore it. because it's mine. because it looks exactly like me"

- "when you are lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realize that you are lost. for the longest time, you can convince youself that you've wandered a few feet off the path, that you'll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it's time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don't even know which direction the sun rises anymore"

- "could i have endured that time.. if i'd just held out a little longer? could i have survived myself, by myself? i don't know. that's the thing about a human life - there's no control group, no way to ever know how any of us would have turned out if any variables had been changed"

- "'Il bel far nienta' means "the beauty of doing nothing"

- So, be lonely. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.

- "You gotta learn how to let go.. Otherwise you're gonna make yourself sick. Never gonna have a good night's sleep again. You'll just toss and turn forever.."

2009 thus far

2009-10-10T22:19:00.002+08:00

2009 has been a real grown-up year.

in 6 mths, i would have bought a place, helped my parents rent out theirs, designed this place and moved in, sold my car, done a asean whirlwind tour and packing up and moving to BKK soonz.

more imptly, i have really grown in faith, and prayerfully, that will keep up in BKK :)

wun say im without apprehension, but i trust there's a bigger Purpose to all my experiences :)

marina barrage

2009-08-14T23:56:00.001+08:00

gradient dark sky
looking forward to hope
looking upwards to dreams
my fave shot in a while, tho grainy :)

5 roles

2009-05-24T18:56:00.003+08:00

only found out 2 days ago that more people know this blog than i realized
but i wunder how many people still read it. but it's fine.. it's not about the numbers; its for the people truly interested.

for a long time, i have procrastinated picking the 5 roles to focus on.
for bkgrd, most people can only play 5 roles effectively in their lives; if we try to do do more, we tend to end up mediocre anywhere.
the reason why i procrastinated is because i know once i over-invest in these roles, i will really neglect the rest. it's just me.. usually 100% or nothing. but i realized, especially as i packed my old stuff, im going to have more responsibilities and less time/energy as i age. thus, i really have to make (tough) choices to be effective.
and so i have decided that these are my 5 roles:

1) God's servant in church and ministry
2) Daughter to my parents
3) Friend to A and J
4) Faithful steward/servant at work
5) Mentor to Jy and YH

maybe over-investment will mean disappointment in some roles, but this is my choice and i will live with the consequence :)

one last thing, i thank God, because for first time in my life, when i think of the next 1, 2, 5, 10 years, there's truly no fear for i know..

He holds my future :)

Look Again and Think

2009-01-28T10:30:00.002+08:00

no, i havent abandoned blogging; just that facebook is much faster~ :)
just feel like keeping this as a reminder to self.
thank God, i have come to realize, how much freedom i have because i know Him:)

---

Do not worry about your life . . . —Matthew 6:25

A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us (Matthew 13:22). We are never free from the recurring waves of this invasion. If the frontline of attack is not about clothes and food, it may be about money or the lack of money; or friends or lack of friends; or the line may be drawn over difficult circumstances. It is one steady invasion, and these things will come in like a flood, unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the banner against it.

"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing yourself to think that He says this while not understanding your circumstances. Jesus Christ knows our circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things to the point where they become the primary concern of our life. Whenever there are competing concerns in your life, be sure you always put your relationship to God first.

"Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, "What are your plans for next month— or next summer?" Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30).

love languages

2008-07-20T16:25:00.002+08:00

hmm i guess i always knew this :) but doesnt mean all of u dun need to buy gifts for me!! hah

I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time:	11
Physical Touch:	9
Acts of Service:	5
Words of Affirmation:	5
Receiving Gifts:	0

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

mike raiter on retirement

2008-07-11T07:16:00.002+08:00

mike raiter spoke yesterday about typical thoughts on retiring early
is that productive for God?

then this morning.. i read this devotion:

We are all capable of being spiritually lazy saints. We want to stay off the rough roads of life, and our primary objective is to secure a peaceful retreat from the world. The ideas put forth in these verses from Hebrews 10 are those of stirring up one another and of keeping ourselves together. Both of these require initiative— our willingness to take the first step toward Christ-realization, not the initiative toward self-realization. To live a distant, withdrawn, and secluded life is diametrically opposed to spirituality as Jesus Christ taught it.

The real danger in spiritual laziness is that we do not want to be stirred up— all we want to hear about is a spiritual retirement from the world.Yet Jesus Christ never encourages the idea of retirement— He says, "Go and tell My brethren . . ."

Yes Lord, i get ur point - time to rethink my retirement plans :P

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE

2008-07-08T22:08:00.001+08:00

good read whether u r christian or not :)

PARTNERS AND MARRIAGE
By Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz

I have never met a man who didn't want to be loved. But I have seldom met a man who didn't fear marriage. Something about the closure seems constricting, not enabling. Marriage seems easier to understand for what it cuts out of our lives than for what it makes possible within our lives.

When I was younger this fear immobilized me. I did not want to make a mistake. I saw my friends get married for reasons of social acceptability, or sexual fever, or just because they thought it was the logical thing to do. Then I watched, as they and their partners became embittered and petty in their dealings with each other. I looked at older couples and saw, at best, mutual toleration of each other. I imagined a lifetime of loveless nights and bickering and could not imagine subjecting myself or someone else to such a fate.

And yet, on rare occasions, I would see old couples who somehow seemed to glow in each other's presence. They seemed really in love, not just dependent upon each other and tolerant of each other's foibles. It was an astounding sight, and it seemed impossible.

How, I asked myself, can they have survived so many years of sameness, so much irritation at the other's habits? What keeps love alive in them, when most of us seem unable to even stay together, much less love each other?

The central secret seems to be in choosing well. There is something to the claim of fundamental compatibility. Good people can create a bad relationship, even though they both dearly want the relationship to succeed. It is important to find someone with whom you can create a good relationship from the outset. Unfortunately, it is hard to see clearly in the early stages.

Sexual hunger draws you to each other and colors the way you see yourselves together. It blinds you to the thousands of little things by which relationships eventually survive or fail. You need to find a way to see beyond this initial overwhelming sexual fascination. Some people choose to involve themselves sexually and ride out the most heated period of sexual attraction in order to see what is on the other side. This can work, but it can also leave a trail of wounded hearts. Others deny the sexual side altogether in an attempt to get to know each other apart from their sexuality. But they cannot see clearly, because the presence of unfulfilled sexual desire looms so large that it keeps them from having any normal perception of what life would be like together.

The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long- time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best. They share time together before they get swept into the entangling intimacy of their sexuality.

This is the ideal, but not often possible. If you fall under the spell of your sexual attraction immediately, you need to look beyond it for other keys to compatibility.

One of these is laughter. Laughter tells you how much you will enjoy each other's company over the long term. If your laughter together is good and healthy, and not at the expense of others, then you have a healthy relationship to the world. Laughter is the child of surprise. If you can make each other laugh, you can always surprise each other. And if you can always surprise each other, you can always keep the world around you new. Beware of a relationship in which there is no laughter. Even the most intimate relationships based only on seriousness have a tendency to turn sour. Over time, sharing a common serious viewpoint on the world tends to turn you against those who do not share the same viewpoint, and your relationship can become based on being critical together.

After laughter, look for a partner who deals with the world in a way you respect. When two people first get together, they tend to see their relationship as existing only in the space between the two of them. They find each other endlessly fascinating, and the overwhelming power of the emotions they are sharing obscures the outside world. As the relationship ages and grows, the outside world becomes important again. If your partner treats people or circumstances in a way you can't accept, you will inevitably come to grief. Look at the way she cares for others and deals with the daily affairs of life. If that makes you love her more, your love will grow. If it does not, be careful. If you do not respect the way you each deal with the world around you, eventually the two of you will not respect each other.

Look also at how your partner confronts the mysteries of life. We live on the cusp of poetry and practicality, and the real life of the heart resides in the poetic. If one of you is deeply affected by the mystery of the unseen in life and relationships, while the other is drawn only to the literal and the practical, you must take care that the distance doesn't become an unbridgeable gap that leaves you each feeling isolated and misunderstood.

There are many other keys, but you must find them by yourself. We all have unchangeable parts of our hearts that we will not betray and private commitments to a vision of life that we will not deny. If you fall in love with someone who cannot nourish those inviolable parts of you, or if you cannot nourish them in her, you will find yourselves growing further apart until you live in separate worlds where you share the business of life, but never touch each other where the heart lives and dreams. From there it is only a small leap to the cataloging of petty hurts and daily failures that leaves so many couples bitter and unsatisfied with their mates.

So choose carefully and well. If you do, you will have chosen a partner with whom you can grow, and then the real miracle of marriage can take place in your hearts. I pick my words carefully when I speak of a miracle. But I think it is not too strong a word. There is a miracle in marriage. It is called transformation. Transformation is one of the most common events of nature. The seed becomes the flower. The cocoon becomes the butterfly. Winter becomes spring and love becomes a child. We never question these, because we see them around
us every day. To us they are not miracles, though if we did not know them they would be impossible to believe. Marriage is a transformation we choose to make.

Our love is planted like a seed, and in time it begins to flower. We cannot know the flower that will blossom, but we can be sure that a bloom will come. If you have chosen carefully and wisely, the bloom will be good. If you have chosen poorly or for the wrong reason, the bloom will be flawed. We are quite willing to accept the reality of negative transformation in a marriage. It was negative transformation that always had me terrified of the bitter marriages that I feared when I was younger.

It never occurred to me to question the dark miracle that transformed love into harshness and bitterness. Yet I was unable to accept the possibility that the first heat of love could be transformed into something positive that was actually deeper and more meaningful than the heat of fresh passion. All I could believe in was the power of this passion and the fear that when it cooled I would be left with something lesser and bitter. But there is positive transformation as well. Like negative transformation, it results from a slow accretion of little things. But instead of death by a thousand blows, it is growth by a thousand touches of love. Two histories intermingle. Two separate beings, two separate presence, two separate consciousnesses come together and share a view of life that passes before them. They remain separate, but they also become one.

There is an expansion of awareness, not a closure and a constriction, as I had once feared. This is not to say that there is not tension and there are not traps. Tension and traps are part of every choice of life, from celibate to monogamous to having multiple lovers. Each choice contains within it the lingering doubt that the road not taken somehow more fruitful and exciting, and each becomes dulled to the richness that it alone contains.

But only marriage allows life to deepen and expand and be leavened by the knowledge that two have chosen, against all odds, to become one. Those who live together without marriage can know the pleasure of shared company, but there is a specific gravity in the marriage commitment that deepens that experience into something richer and more complex. So do not fear marriage, just as you should not rush into it for the wrong reasons. It is an act of faith and it contains within it the power of transformation.

If you believe in your heart that you have found someone with whom you are able to grow, if you have sufficient faith that you can resist the endless attraction of the road not taken and the partner not chosen, if you have the strength of heart to embrace the cycles and seasons that your love will experience, then you may be ready to seek the miracle that marriage offers. If not, then wait. The easy grace of a marriage well made is worth your patience. When the time comes, a thousand flowers will bloom... endlessly.

half a year on.. giving thanks :)

2008-07-05T17:53:00.001+08:00

Im pretty sure the last 6 months have perhaps been the most intensive and yet fulfilling half year. I always do a pit stop in the middle of the year – have I taken the time to truly do what I want?

For the 1st time this year, despite being extremely busy, exhausted yet high adrenaline rushing, I think I have! Thank God, and it’s largely due to having a clear mission statement and OGSM (for the non-proctorized – objectives, goals, strategies, measures) in all the key areas in my life (spiritual, physical, social/emotional etc).

[Side point - now I truly believe that in setting goals, specifics are very important so I should say “I want to lose 20kg” instead of “I will go to the gym regularly”. [Btw, I did lose 20kg but put on 1kg in the past 2 weeks as I have been a slob, but rest when one is sick and cheat days are impt so it’s ok]. Because how often is ‘regularly’? How does one track success? Has to be specific and measurable!]

I think my walk with God has stabilized and matured because He allowed me to serve in BASIC. There was a part of me that felt that I had something to give when I started serving in youth, but in the end, I really realized I was merely God’s vessel, and it was a privilege to go through some experiences with the youth. Not because I’m better, but because I have been through similar experiences. Also, God grew me through the whole experience. He gave me more time and energy somehow to serve despite all that crazy amount of work. So yes, all glory to Him

For work, it has been very fulfilling. Looking back, I don’t know how I would have done it without His sustenance. But I have learnt a lot from this new portfolio – both soft and hard skills. Also, with new member on the team, still learning to let go and lead. Not easy days, and harder days always seem to lie ahead, but it’s been good. Hopefully, I can now get more sleep, lose less hair, not grow anymore white hair and actually feel like a normal person – not so high-strung all the time. Yes, especially since I see my 7 month old ‘baby’ on the shelves now :P

Family and friends-wise, I always feel I can do better, but I think I still kept my balance this semester. Met up regularly with the folks who really mattered to me and made 2 new close guy frens who both live around the novena area for some reason. Convenience. Hah! I think I saw my co-workers more often than I saw my family+dog for these 6 months. But yea, still in touch with people – what really matters to God and me :)

Of course it wasn’t ALL good ALL the time. Derek's sudden sickness (but he's well now yay!), Cheryl’s and John’s passing away in the same week was tough emotionally. Yet, both of them were sure where they were headed, so that helped. Had some hard times when relationships take a blow because of formal stuff, or I feel wronged/maligned with intentions taken wrongly.

So yes, very condensed half a year.
I can actually feel the tiredness set in as I fell sick and told myself to slow down and pace better.

Many thanks to all who spent good times with me,
And also those who prayed for me/there for me/checked on me when I was down/moody/talking rubbish bcos too tired
Especially the elect few [yes be honoured :P] who get smses from me at 3-5am in the morning, depending on whether I haven’t slept or woke up from brain overwork…

Thanks sincerely =)
Looking ahead, the best is yet to be………!!

give me faith to truly believe...

2008-06-23T22:54:00.001+08:00

So often it looks like God is delaying or denying us, but his timing is perfect.

Next time you feel like you’re in God’s waiting room,

trust that God is working in his own perfect time on his own perfect plan –

which is so much better than anything we can plan or dream

powerful testimony - afshin

2008-06-23T21:57:00.003+08:00

this is not meaning to be anti-muslim or political or whatever

just someone's powerful conversion story :)

funny!

2008-06-20T17:18:00.004+08:00

man.. i guess we have a worldwide reputation :P

----------

May you today be fully content knowing you are a child of God
Mother Teresa

its not tt only good things happen to christians

2008-06-17T23:30:00.001+08:00

thank God im starting to understand maybe 1% of this..

----

When King David writes, “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me,” he’s not saying, “Surely only good things will happen to me!”

The fact is bad things happen to good people. What David is teaching us is that God can take bad, evil, and difficult situations and bring something good out of them.

It’s one of God’s great promises to us: we can know that all things are working for our good “if we love God and are fitting into his plans” (Romans 8:28 LB). If you’re a believer, the Bible says all things are working together for good – not that all things are good, but that they work together for good. There’s no difficulty, dilemma, defeat, or disaster in life that God can’t ultimately turn toward good.

When you understand God’s grace and mercy, there’s no need to fear the future. God isn’t trying to get even with you. Jesus shouldered the penalty for everything you’ve ever done wrong or will do wrong. He paid for it on the cross. So when a bad thing happens, you don’t have to think, “God’s getting even with me.” That’s how God’s grace and mercy work.

Mercy, like goodness, follows us in life. Picture a parent following a little child around picking up after them; God is constantly picking up our messes.

Think about this:

· Christians go to the future, not with a question mark, but with an exclamation point. God will be with you no matter what happens. He will help you out.

· God’s goodness provides and protects;God’s mercy pardons and forgives. God’s goodness will supply; God’s mercy will sooth. God’s goodness will help; God’s mercy will heal.

· Goodness is the fact that God gives us good things in life that we don’t deserve.Mercy means God holds back the condemnation we deserve.

june journey

2008-06-14T11:48:00.003+08:00

it hasnt been the easiest of times

spiritually recovery is always amazing though
what's like to wake up, and be reminded by the HS to submit my entire day, thoughts, actions to him
the liberation because He guides the day

to humbly learn that even the ability to be obedient comes from Him
that me and pride thought that i could fend my thoughts and heart
paid the price for that, but i know God can make good out of my mistakes :)
lots of old fears and insecurities thrown up
but i know that He is made strong in my weaknesses :)

challenging @ workplace
organizational changes, fiscal year closing, ACCRUALS!, new unwritten responsibilities
but thank God i really found something that energizes me and that's people! :)

but thank God for the relatively good social life this month
(and all the choc, desserts, profiteroles and cheese and pizzaS :P)
remaining connected to pple from the past helps keep me rooted
and thanks aaron for what u said over ur birthday dinner; makes me realize its truly the quality of the friendship that's impt :)

looking forward to kha with ly and bd tonight :)

cheryl, u r still missed...

-----------------------

Oh,what I would do to have
the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

But the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
when I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
singing over me

But the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says do not be afraid
And the voice of truth says this is for my glory
Out of all the voices calling out to me (calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe (I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

I will listen and believe
I will listen and believe the voice of truth
I will listen and believe
'Cause Jesus you are the voice of truth
And I will listen to you.. oh you are

interesting perspective - God not singing us to sleep

2008-06-11T22:47:00.001+08:00

". . . and I will give you rest"— that is, "I will sustain you, causing you to stand firm."
He is not saying, "I will put you to bed, hold your hand, and sing you to sleep."

But, in essence, He is saying, "I will get you out of bed— out of your listlessness and exhaustion, and out of your condition of being half dead while you are still alive. I will penetrate you with the spirit of life, and you will be sustained by the perfection of vital activity."

Yet we become so weak and pitiful and talk about "suffering" the will of the Lord!
Where is the majestic vitality and the power of the Son of God in that?

thought of the day

2008-06-07T10:47:00.000+08:00

Success is not measured by what you do compared to what others do,

it is measured by what you do with the ability God gave you.

timely word for my struggles

2008-06-04T07:48:00.000+08:00

June 3, 2008
"The Secret of the Lord"

The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him . . .

—Psalm 25:14

What is the sign of a friend? Is it that he tells you his secret sorrows? No, it is that he tells you his secret joys. Many people will confide their secret sorrows to you, but the final mark of intimacy is when they share their secret joys with you. Have we ever let God tell us any of His joys? Or are we continually telling God our secrets, leaving Him no time to talk to us? At the beginning of our Christian life we are full of requests to God. But then we find that God wants to get us into an intimate relationship with Himself— to get us in touch with His purposes. Are we so intimately united to Jesus Christ’s idea of prayer— "Your will be done" ( Matthew 6:10 )— that we catch the secrets of God? What makes God so dear to us is not so much His big blessings to us, but the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us— He knows every detail of each of our individual lives.

"Him shall He teach in the way He chooses" ( Psalm 25:12 ). At first, we want the awareness of being guided by God. But then as we grow spiritually, we live so fully aware of God that we do not even need to ask what His will is, because the thought of choosing another way will never occur to us. If we are saved and sanctified, God guides us by our everyday choices.

And if we are about to choose what He does not want, He will give us a sense of doubt or restraint, which we must heed. Whenever there is doubt, stop at once. Never try to reason it out, saying, "I wonder why I shouldn’t do this?"

God instructs us in what we choose; that is, He actually guides our common sense. And when we yield to His teachings and guidance, we no longer hinder His Spirit by continually asking, "Now, Lord, what is Your will?"

thank God for such beautiful voices..

2008-05-28T12:43:00.001+08:00

always at a lost of words after hearing her performances..
therapeutic :)

calm centre

2008-05-22T16:40:00.001+08:00

The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center.

So does a person.

~Norman Vincent Peale~

and for me, the calmness comes only from the Prince of Peace :)

pictures say a thousand words :)

2008-05-21T02:17:00.001+08:00

this is so much harder than i thought..

2008-05-10T20:18:00.001+08:00

thanks for leaving me this..
im glad it kept u company for the last 6 yrs,
by ur bed,
till the very end.

its now with me..
till i see u again...

im missing u so much already.....

A Tribute to one of my best friends..

2008-05-07T13:03:00.006+08:00

Hi dear,

I am sorry, been wanting to do this photo compilation for you for such a long time, but i procrastinated too long.
But i know you can still read this now in heaven..

Thank you for 10 years of friendship.
Thank you for showing me a glimpse of what being a real loving sister in Christ is like - you have been with me since i started walking with God, and i hope to see you at the end.

Thank you for being with me through the downest moments of my life.
Thank you for always celebrating my birthdays with me.
Thanks for always obliging my photo taking.

Thank you for just listening to me, for bouncing off the thoughts and for the great thoughts and reflections you always had.
Thank you for the many hugs, gifts, love and laughter you brought to my life.
Thank you for using our pic as your profile pic on friendster - i never got to tell u it meant a lot to me.

Thank you for putting up such a strong fight even towards the end.

Thank you for not wanting to meet up; u knew i was upset looking at you so sick.

Thank you for being you.
I will always hold dear the memories we had together...

album

2 different wakes in 2 days

2008-05-07T11:07:00.002+08:00

Bye Bye

"This is for my peoples who just lost somebody

Your best friend, your baby,

your man, or your lady

Put your hand way up high

We will never say bye (no, no, no)

Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins

This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers

Lift your head to the sky

'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times

I didn't get it but you kept me in line

I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes

It's something more than saying "I miss you"

But when we talked too

All them grown folk thinks

Separation brings

You never let me know it

You never let it show

becauseYou loved me and obviously

There's so much more left to say

If you were with me today face to face

[Chorus:]

I never knew I could hurt like this

And everyday life goes on like

"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"

"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"

As time goes by

And soon as you reach a better place

Still I'll give the whole world to see your face

And I'm right here next to you

It feels like you gone too soon

The hardest thing to do is say bye bye(Bye Bye [3x])

Bye bye

And you never got the chance to see how good I've done

And you never got to see me back at number one

I wish that you were here to celebrate together

I wish that we could spend the holidays together

I remember when you used to tuck me in at night

With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight

I thought you were so strong

That you can make it through whatever

It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever

[Chorus]

(bye bye bye bye bye bye [3x])Bye bye

forgiveness - food for thought

2008-05-06T07:32:00.000+08:00

When you forgive someone, you slice away the wrong from the person who did it. You disengage that person from his hurtful act. You recreate him. At one moment you identify him inerradicably as the person who did you wrong. The next moment you change that identity. He is remade in your memory.

You think of him now not as the person who hurt you, but as a person who needs you. You feel him now not as the person who alienated you, but as the person who belongs to you. Once you branded him as a person powerful in evil, but now you see him as a person weak in his needs. You recreated your past by recreating the person whose wrong made your past painful.

its tough, but surely rewarding

2008-04-29T11:42:00.001+08:00

April 28, 2008
What You Will Get

I will give your life to you as a prize in all places, wherever you go —Jeremiah 45:5

This is the firm and immovable secret of the Lord to those who trust Him— "I will give your life to you . . . ." What more does a man want than his life? It is the essential thing. ". . . your life . . . as a prize . . ." means that wherever you may go, even if it is into hell, you will come out with your life and nothing can harm it. So many of us are caught up in exhibiting things for others to see, not showing off property and possessions, but our blessings. All these things that we so proudly show have to go. But there is something greater that can never go— the life that "is hidden with Christ in God" ( Colossians 3:3 ).

Are you prepared to let God take you into total oneness with Himself, paying no more attention to what you call the great things of life? Are you prepared to surrender totally and let go? The true test of abandonment or surrender is in refusing to say, "Well, what about this?" Beware of your own ideas and speculations. The moment you allow yourself to think, "What about this?" you show that you have not surrendered and that you do not really trust God. But once you do surrender, you will no longer think about what God is going to do. Abandonment means to refuse yourself the luxury of asking any questions.

If you totally abandon yourself to God, He immediately says to you, "I will give your life to you as a prize . . . ." The reason people are tired of life is that God has not given them anything— they have not been given their life "as a prize." The way to get out of that condition is to abandon yourself to God. And once you do get to the point of total surrender to Him, you will be the most surprised and delighted person on earth. God will have you absolutely, without any limitations, and He will have given you your life. If you are not there, it is either because of disobedience in your life or your refusal to be simple enough.

thankful :)

2008-04-27T06:49:00.005+08:00

i woke up at 5am again today.
but it wasn't an irritated type of waking up.
maybe cos for the 3 days, i actually managed to sneak a nap mid day.. so im happY :)

when 2007 ended, honestly, i thought life couldnt get any better
but these last almost 4 months have really been quite a blast!

of cos its been challenging
i have never worked so hard in school. ever.
not even in college, cos it was impossible to have 80+ contact hrs in one week ;P

but really thank God for new perspectives,
for being able to be thankful,
for being able to smile in difficult times
for being able to see people above business/situations
for being able to get a glimpse of loving without expecting return

and more imptly, to be able to love myself as God's creation
i have struggled with this all my life
not tt it's perfect now.. but i really am thankful for just who i am
and comfortable being just me.
i have my shortcomings, but i like to deal with them and do the best i can.

and also, to be able to love the now
im a very fwd looking person
so all my life, i worry forward
and cannot enjoy the now...

but for now, really, there's no better time than now
because it's only pocket of time i can influence :)

PS: alvin bro... looking forward to mambo on wED :P

im distracted from bible study prep

2008-04-25T23:46:00.001+08:00

but i really love this ad

the colour, dress and mod!

not giving up

2008-04-25T00:06:00.005+08:00

i always heard alot bout lance armstrong, but im glad i finally read through a book about him.

yes, im supposed to be vegging out..
and actually my reading speed is much slower than normal,
but i still cudnt help finishing the book!!

of cos besides the usual sticking on and not giving up,
i think its also impt for us to know what to let go off
for instance, he also stopped swimming etc when he was young
so we shudnt be indiscriminately stubborn on things we SHOULD give up on

and i think i need alot of wisdom from God always
to be able to tell that difference :)

thank God for such a great week,
even though honestly, some parts of it were becoming painful
and a test of my own limits :)

“Pain is temporary.
It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year,
but eventually it will subside
and something else will take its place.
If I quit, however, it lasts forever.”

"During our lives we're faced with so many elements as well,
we experience so many setbacks,
and fight such a hand-to-hand battle with failure,
head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and have a little hope.
The Tour isn't just a bike race,
it tests you mentally, physically, and even morally. "

“I'm sorry for you, ...
I'm sorry you don't believe in miracles.”

nice monday

2008-04-21T20:21:00.004+08:00

thank God for one of the most productive and focused mondays i ever had.
think it's the complete rest of work over the weekend :)
i actually got out of office at 615pm, while the sun was still up
and managed to eat dinner w my parents
*amaZed*
almost forgot what that felt like.

and oh, bcos of wenjie, i went to read up on my MBTI personality traits
im ESFJ.. i think thats quite obviouS?
i think the traits are becoming stronger with age.. hmmmzz

oh and my phuket trip is confirmed! YAY :)
and my bishan park spa over may day too!

i wanna do SO many things... cable ski, blade, bake, redo portfolio shoot..
so little time..
----------
i tot this was funnily true!!
i HATE facing conflict..

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight.
When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord.
The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right,
then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities,
countered by unswerving Values,
ad exhaustium, winner take all.

-----------------------------------------
hah YES!
i do think ill die from heart attack
*breathesssssssssssss*

ESFJ: The Control Freak

Champions of rule and tradition, defender of convention and order, the ESFJ values predictability, consistency, promptness, and continuity. This love of order, stability, and tradition most often manifests as a fanatical and almost compulsive control freakery, combined with an anal-retentive streak that is at once maddening and infuriating to those around them.

ESFJs are often friendly, outgoing, and generous, at least until you cross them. This generous nature, in combination with their obsessive need for control, makes them ideal for such jobs as Jedi master, senior bank teller, or middle management at a large chain department store. Most ESFJs die of heart attacks, at least the ones who aren't slain in a galactic power coup made possible by the rigid, dogmatic inflexibility and self-absorbed narcissism of their Jedi order.

RECREATION: ESFJs are fond of celebrating birthdays, bar mitzvahs, initiations into the grand order of the Golden Dawn, and other momentous occasions. They also take delight in creating elaborate schedules on their PDAs, memorizing the Periodic Table of Elements, and ripping off the heads of those who cross them before laying their eggs in the victim's neck, which hatch into larvae that devour the victim over a period of many years.

COMPATIBILITY: ESFJs are most compatible with ESTJs, who love and cherish the ESFJ's control freakery.

-------------------------

this is scarily accurate.. but how can there be only 16 types of pple in this world?

The Caregiver

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.

ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.

With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.

The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.

ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure.

ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. (Thank God!!) In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.

ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.

An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any.

ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.

byebye

2008-04-20T19:03:00.003+08:00

im not a big mariah carey fan, but this song is quite nice.
reminiscence of what she was like in her peak, with a modern touch

and oh yes, bye the weekend.
u came and went too soon!! :P

Mariah Carey Lyrics
Bye Bye Lyrics

why i heart the weekends :)

2008-04-19T23:53:00.001+08:00

i feel like tt this week, but im glad im of use still :)

2008-04-17T14:42:00.001+08:00

A Small Stone

=============

A small stone looked up to God and asked God,“What am I here for?”

God replied, in one simple sentence,“To be a stepping stone for others who need your help.”

~A MountainWings Original by subscriber Larra Lynn Harr,Age 14, Euless, TX~

difficult

2008-04-17T10:23:00.001+08:00

sometimes its so hard to stand by what i truly believe in, including myself

"You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.

That's what makes you a winner."

- Venus Williams

takes a lot of faith to believe this

2008-04-15T23:06:00.000+08:00

“What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,

how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

(Matthew 7:9-11, HCSB)

lisa's birthday

2008-04-13T08:24:00.003+08:00

happy birthday!
thanks for wunderful evening my dear :)

God willing,
looking forward to our beach trip,
hopefully working together,
many more trips,
and lifetime of friendship

changes

2008-04-10T06:30:00.003+08:00

i guess it only strikes me hard how much i love the pple i work with everytime organizational announcements are made about people leaving/moving/relocating/promoted.

except tt this time, it struck me a lil harder cos its u.
from someone i was really scared of to someone i truly respect n look upon as a fren/mentor/coach
i realized i been taking the many sell-ins, car trips to and fro customers, 1-on-1 for granted bcos i tot i still had more time to interact and learn!

dynamism at its max in this co... ull be missed :)

food for thought earli in the morning..

2008-04-08T04:15:00.000+08:00

"What we think or what we know or what we

believe is, in the end, of little consequence.

The only consequence is what we do."

- John Ruskin

energy management

2008-04-06T23:18:00.004+08:00

"Energy is the essence of life. Every day you
decide how you're going to use it by knowing
what you want and what it takes to reach
that goal, and by maintaining focus."
- Oprah Winfrey

super in line with my attempt to be practising corporate athlete

even tho it comes from someone who is weight yoyo-ing :P

Most Valued Physical Possession

2008-04-05T13:04:00.003+08:00

how true..
wunder why it took be 24yrs+ to realize..

"Of your physical possessions, your body is the most valuableand irreplaceable.
You can't order a new one and spare parts are hard to come by, difficult to install, and don't work aswell as the original equipment.
Care for your body well."

~A MountainWings Original~

Good reminders/challenge to my constant struggle with complete reliance:

2Cors4:7

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

2Cors12-5b, 9-10
But I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses...

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.

For when I am weak, then I am strong

photowhoring narcissism

2008-04-04T04:27:00.002+08:00

since i woke up at unearthly hrs again and cant get back to sleep,

shall destress by putting up recent pics that i really like :P

excuse to be narcisstic.. muahah!

btw, i think i can be so illogical.

i got whole bunch of clothes i never wore before since i bought from bangkok,

but im still tempted to shop when i walk past clothes stores

AND i can still complain i dunno wat to wear

the woes of choices :P

the journey of losing weight...

2008-04-02T00:18:00.004+08:00

its been nice hearing feedback these few days, stuff like:
"u r going to disappear at this rate"
"wow ur tummy is gone!!"

i guess 18+kg in 3 months is quite a lot
but im really glad its done with combination of exercise and small constant meals
exercise base was 0, therefore any incremental is HUGE for my body yeah.
even my hairdresser said today tt i look healthier/glowy :)

and as i was telling my best pals, exercise routine has really been life changing for me - energy level, fitness, endurance, confidence and i even need less sleep!
i hope can maintain for a life time :)
really thank God for helping me perservere so far!

want to encourage those who struggle with weight issues too..
there is no shortcut!! even if we just not eat, our metabolism will only crash
sensible eating and exercise is only way to sustain for a life time :)

i never felt so alive and engaged before..
me probably the healthiest now in my whole 24+ years of life!
praise God!
help me use my energy to invest in eternitY!

Bangkok blastermania..

2008-03-28T15:39:00.009+08:00

shopped like mad

laughed/chilled/hungout a lot =)

- ate/massage/spa in excess!

finally remember what it's like to be truly relaxed

shall let the photos do the talking :P
album 1 - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33389&l=06f62&id=648876155
album 2 - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33391&l=95823&id=648876155
me and the thai folks - http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=33392&l=e7503&id=648876155

changed woman

2008-03-23T03:00:00.001+08:00

i really have changed...
when i was younger, i used to have to muster up courage and discipline to do my homework..

now, im having problems sleeping in bangkok,
and its actually taking DISCIPLINE to not reach for my vpn to log onto my office email.................
.
.
.

i better rehab that workaholism this week!!!!!!!!!!!!
help!!

The Six-Letter Word

2008-03-22T12:26:00.003+08:00

something i shall practise these few days, since im supposedly more relaxed and thus able to listen :P

The Six-Letter Word
====================

I was taught a lesson that just six simple letters could make a difference.

Those six letters made the word - SILENT.

Those letters when rearranged also spell the word - LISTEN.

I never truly understood that until the day I stood silent
and learned there was more to life than everyday living.

When you don't take the time to listen and be silent
then everything is easily taken for granted.

The things I wasn't silent for and listened for, I now miss the most.
A simple I love you from my children.
The request of a loved one that I was too busy for at the time.

Little did I know, that if I stayed quiet and savored things,
I could have imprinted their voices in my mind and made memories that would have lasted.
The one thing I always will be thankful for is that I learned my lesson and heeded the call.

But also that God truly is silentand listened for my every need,
but in return if I'm silent,I can also hear from Him.

God-work-not mutually exclusive

2008-03-16T20:29:00.006+08:00

“Unless you can make a connection between what you do all day and what you think God wants you to be doing, you will never find ultimate meaning in your work or your relationship with God.”
– Doug Sherman & William Hendriks

Besides being physically tired, I think last 2 months have been torturous for my mental/emotional well-being because I have been feeling a tremendous amount of guilt. (I am very susceptible to guilty, and it is also something I have come to learn to thank God for when it is in the right doses, because it reminds me to often come back to the narrow path.)

Main reason is because I feel that I have been working too hard and I have not internally sync-ed my daily work to God’s bigger purpose. Which is why I set aside some personal time with God tonight to do some reflections..

In last few months, when I invest many hours into work, it isn’t about perfecting the work or trying to please someone, it’s simply to finish the work. And I feel guilty because I no longer know if it is right to work such long hours at the expense of sleep, personal time and leisure time. At least I can say that it hasn’t been at the expense of ministry, CLOBS or church because I have made those things un-compromisable.

But still, I have never felt so out of control of my schedule.

Till recently, I have never been so tired.

Never slept for so little in such long stretches in a row.

Never been unable to sleep well for so many nights.

Never dreamt about filling up excel sheets.

Seriously never worked/focused so hard in my life because I usually got around being last minute.
I think the time I studied the hardest was for my ‘A’s, and if that was 70% effort, now is 95%.

And yet at the same time, I also feel very blessed.

I haven’t really been able to do regular QT, but I do pray in small spurts throughout the day, and I’m very conscious of the fact that He is the one sustaining me, every cell of my body, and reminding me of many things at work that I might have forgotten otherwise.

He is made strong in my weaknesses.

He has placed people at work to bless me and coach me and remind me of important things in life, both professionally and personally.

“Work is a consequence of creation, not the fall; the fall has aggravated the problems without destroying its joys.” – John R.W. Stott

I really thank God I still love the work and I do and enjoy it very much.

Because it is very easy to hate the work that makes me work long hours.
But somehow, because of many factors, I still enjoy it. So for that, very thankful. :)

So anyway, I really wanted to reflect and check on my own motives about work.

And also, it has dawned upon me that the skills I am learning at work are not incongruent with God’s principles.

And I tried to do some matching!

Even though I have sorted out the intentions, and more clear that the skills I am learning and practicing at work is congruent with God’s teachings, I don’t think the struggles of balancing work with other things in life will ever fully go away for me.

I am still a sinful person who will forget about the intentions, the love for others when the crunch comes.

But at least now I think my work purpose is more aligned with His purpose for me :)

For other workaholics who need a little a little rehab and perspectives like me :)
http://www.bible.org/page.php?page_id=528

really tired but can't get to bed

2008-03-15T18:56:00.003+08:00

real sign of stress when im really tired, physically and mentally, but haven't been able to zzzz :(

understand how sheela feels when she cant get to bed! then u r stressed about not being able to sleep.. then it goes into the cycle..

but its nice to catch breakfast with my parents :)
and bought a new phone. kek. satisfied my lust at $268 *grinZ*
and booked our tour to bangkok!! yay!!
and catching up on anime
and playing around with my new toy :)

things will get better.
full day seminar on prayer tmr! yay! shud be good cos im needing it :)

wow the week flew

2008-03-15T02:10:00.006+08:00

wow think the week really flew.
i took this pic last friday at equinox and din have the time to find the cable to transfer it till now.
official dinner so it was nice :)

bali was simply great.
the saturday i reached there was the 1st night i slept so well since CNY. pretty bad huh i know... :(
weekend was great with elsa!
something about the sea and sunsets is very therapeutic.
must take a very jaded soul not to be touched.

meetings also great actually. learnt a lot.
both business and personal!
just stressful cos many next steps.

i think i really must take it easy.

need to pace myself.. will become a nervous wreck at this rate.
havent been sleeping/eating properly..
as the rabbit blog went..i think my lifes been like that for more than a month now..

"We believe strongly in work-life balance."

Work-life is balanced, i.e. work-life = 0, or work = life.

Simple Algebra, QED.

looking forward to going on leave.

start my break on good friday. yay!
planning last min holiday with pris now.
flying next sat then now havent even book :P

a very badly stitched picture cos of waves timing.. but beauty never changes :)

bali bliss

2008-03-09T23:41:00.002+08:00

rubbishy stuff at weird hrs

2008-03-07T05:30:00.001+08:00

its one of those ironic times when im drugged and tired and achey but i lie in bed and can't sleep

so i wake up to clear emails, and do rubbish stuff like facebook and blog

anyway, one more day and im off to bali for the regional meeting.

thank God for the early weekend there to rest and relax. looking forward to just chilling!! :)

aniwae see la.. consumerism.. i got a new lust....w890i

shall wait for my mio voucher to come.. :P

and bro, u noe whu u r, even tho din get an sms reply from u, but all the best for treatment tmr..

im praying for u...:)

emo

2008-03-04T23:21:00.004+08:00

i have always been kinda an emo person..
i used to cry more for selfish reasons - pride, anger, someone slighted me etc

but God gave me tears for someone im not really close to...but someone i was really looking to noeing better, to riding in his car..

i like the fact i am starting to care for pple in a deep, real manner...
but it also means i feel their pain and suffering deeply too...

grieve for those who grieve.. i think im starting to have a faint idea of that...

its so hard not to be selfish.
really makes me wonder why some pple can think they are all righteous? hmm..

one more??

2008-03-03T18:52:00.002+08:00

one more 20+ yr old fren down with cancer..
is this some kinda cosmic joke? sigh..

end week reflections

2008-03-02T00:39:00.000+08:00

its really nice to be able to sit down quietly on a sunday night to think, reflect and blog.
my dads at work. again. *sigh* poor thing.
my mum and dog is sleeping.
the silence is so comforting to my ears cos all i haf had was hustle and bustle for too long perhaps :)

looking back, its only been about 20 days since after cny.
but i was working so intensely+long hrs these past 3 weeks, only when everything paused on friday night did i realize i might have been approaching some kinda burnout.

- the sleep depravity was just insane..
- nearly fell asleep behind the wheel *dangerous!!!* thats why im kinda afraid of driving..
- i grew 3 ulcers in 1 night :(
its amazing how God kept me from falling really ill.. so thank You!!

liyi stayed over last night.
and it was really nice catching up by the pool
even though i see her pretty often, i think its the 1st time in more than 2 months we spent time with just 2 of us.
i talked and shared bout a lot of stuff.. but one thing that struck me as i was sharing..

i think i have really changed a lot in the last yr plus. its for the better cos i think i have matured.
God has helped me become more secure about who i am, and the relationships i have with people.
of cos there are always still room to grow, but this alone is a significant breakthrough :)

God also been showing me some ugly things about myself.
everyone has their struggle.. so mine was guilt and selfishness.
sometimes i realized i have always been so gifted at positioning since young that actually i have wrong intentions towards others, but i can package it to others (and even myself.. yes it bypasses the conscious state) that what i did was good for them.
its kinda scary as God revealed some of these things, but im also glad, cos then i can be more conscious of my own intentions and be more loving.

*doing what i hate

"For I do not understand my own actions.

For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. "

Romans 7:15

when i was a younger Christian, at least i could say that some of the sins i struggled with are things that i coveted. like good grades for pride. at least these were ungodly things that i wanted.

but in recent times, its become exactly like the verse above.

i dun even understand, cos i hate some things im doing (like e.g what i said about.. being unreal about my intentions) and yet somehow i end up doing it.

sin is such a scary, strange thing.

*worry

Once we see Jesus, the impossible things He does in our lives become as natural as breathing.

(er, i lack faith to believe that this is even possible..

so i hope i can even see this in my imagination :P)

The agony we suffer is only the result of the deliberate shallowness of our own heart.

We won’t believe; we won’ t let go by severing the line that secures the boat to the shore—

we prefer to worry.

* waiting for God

Waiting for God is hard – God is not surprised when we’re honest about our frustrations and fears.

Often God requires us to wait because he’s trying to show us the end of our faith,

stretching our faith, not condemning us for the lack of it.

In these moments, seek God and not the answer.

---------------

and completely outta point, but these are some of the atas food places i wanna try :)

- Prive, Keppel Bay
- Indochine, Indochinese, Empress Place
- 1827, Thai, Asian Civilization Museum
- Pier 11 Restaurant (31 Marina Coastal Drive )

one of the main reasons i look fwd to going to work :)

2008-03-01T07:50:00.007+08:00

and oh got this off my ex dg member's blog.
her dad won a love poetry contest by 8 days.
35 yrs of love bound by God - this is the kind of love i want! :)

this is tough when i lack sleep :(

2008-02-29T04:06:00.002+08:00

"And whatever you do, in word or deed,
do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus

giving thanks to God the Father through him."

-- Colossians 3:17

This was a verse i knew since i was a very young Christian, and reminded of it when i was doing my backdated CLOBS homework this week.

such a simple verse, and yet so hard to carry out, because it demands absolute dying to self.

and i feel so guilty cos i been complaining more than usual this week.. but anyway, TGIF.
been a tough time since after CNY, but yeah, whatever doesnt break you makes one stronger :)

i feel like this..

2008-02-27T14:50:00.002+08:00

to destress, i did this thingie i usually wun, but its scarily accurate :P

http://www.astrology-numerology.com/num-lifepath.html#lp5

5 (5, 14/5, 23/5, 32/5)

The Life Path 5 suggests that you entered this plane with a highly progressive mindset, with the attitude and skills to make the world a better place. The key word for your Life Path is freedom. In the pursuit of freedom, you are naturally versatile, adventurous, and advanced in your thinking. You are one of those people who is always striving to find answers to the many questions that life poses. The byword for the positive Life Path 5 is constant change and improvement. You want to be totally unrestrained, as this is the number most often associated with the productive use of freedom.

You may be one of the most compassionate of people as the 5 is surely the most freedom-loving and compassionate Life Path. Your love of freedom extends to humanity at large, and concern for your fellow man, his freedom and his welfare, may be foremost in your mind. A great Life Path 5 American President, Abraham Lincoln, issued the Emancipation Proclamation, and ended slavery in America. As the ultimate progressive thinker type, your potential in government, the law, and other positions of authority is unlimited.

You are a good communicator, and you know how to motivate people around you. This may be your strongest and most valuable trait. Because of this skill, and your amazing wit, you are a truly natural born salesman (HAHAH). This ability to sell and motivate extends to any sort of physical product all the way through to whatever ideas or concepts you may embrace.

You abhor routine and boring work, and you are not very good at staying with everyday tasks that must be finished on time. On the average, the number 5 personality is rather happy-go-lucky; living for today, and not worrying too much about tomorrow. It is also important for you to find a job that provides thought-provoking tasks rather than routine and redundant responsibilities. You do best dealing with people, but the important thing is that you have the flexibility to express yourself at all times. You have an innate ability to think through complex matters and analyze them quickly, but then be off to something new.

A love of adventure may dominate your life. This may take the form of mental or physical manifestation, but in either case, you thrill to the chance for exploration and blazing new trails. Surely you belong to a group considered the most worldly and traveled (YES! my travel lust is justified). Clearly you are not one to pass up a good venture. You have quite a lot of the risk-taker in your makeup. If you aren't putting your money at stake, you are surely open to a wide variety of risks in your everyday life. Taking the conservative approach is just not in your nature.

In romance, you hate to be tied down and restricted. This doesn't necessarily mean that you are unfaithful or promiscuous, but it does mean that a good partner for you needs to understand your nature. A relationship based on jealousy and having tight reigns is not going to work at all for you. A partner who understands your need to be free and trusted will find you trustworthy, even if you aren't constantly available and totally dutiful. It is important for you to mix with people of a like mind, and to try to avoid those that are too serious and demanding.

If you are living on the negative side of the Life Path 5, you are apt to be multitalented, but suffering from some lack of direction, and there is confusion surrounding your ambition. Restless, discontent, and impulsive, you may bounce from one job to the next without accomplishing much at all. A negative Life Path 5 can become very irresponsible in tasks and decisions concerning the home and business life. The total pursuit of sensation and adventure can result in your becoming self-indulgent and totally unaware of the feelings of those around you.

exhausted but happy :)

2008-02-25T22:49:00.003+08:00

i think exhaustion has reached a whole new level of meaning..
frens who got my sms at 450am and 650am last morning would understand..

but really thank God that i still enjoy what i do very much
tt i really love the pple i work with, and my job scope :) happy and contented :)

and also thank God he still somehow gave me energy to communicate with pple outside work today.. either fone or sms. which is nice..

ok.. i think sleeping early and waking up early tmr is a good idea..
i hope everyone else is off to a more energetic monday :)

exhausted

2008-02-21T22:13:00.001+08:00

tired.. but cant sleep cos mind is too active
sigh

taking short break from work

2008-02-16T20:18:00.001+08:00

am trying to finish my work so i have an undisturbed day of church, ministry and fellowship tmr.
God help!!!

Married?

Sooner or later another issue is coming that you won't like.Y
our husband/wife will do something that you won't like.

Got a boss?

Sooner or later an issue is coming that you won't like.
Your boss will do something that you don't like.

Got family?

Sooner or later "another" issue is coming that you won't like.
They will do something that you don't like.

Parents, children, the government, the church, you name it;sooner or later, they will do something that you don't like.

Issues of life

The issue that you don't like is not the key to life,but it can open the door to hell.
One issue causes divorces, family feuds that never end, jobstress and turmoil, friends to split and even countries to war.

The key is not the bad issue but to focus on the good issues,which usually outnumber the bad by multiples.

We have had people to unsubscribe from MountainWings becausethey didn't like one issue. They receive it for months, theyare blessed with it for months, they say so, then one issuecomes that they don't like and "POOF" they are gone.

The church is the same way.P
eople will come for months.
They are blessed for months.
They say so.
Then one sermon comes that they don't agree with and "POOF"they are gone.

Such is life.S

uch is the nature of issues.

In your marriage, your family, your job, your nation,even with MountainWings, don't let one small issue that youdon't agree with or don't like, make you go POOF.

For that issue is coming, guaranteed.

It is the nature of the issues of life.

~A MountainWings Original~

sorry to all who had to hear me grumble this week

2008-02-16T11:15:00.002+08:00

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.

And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing"-James 1:2-4

this verse strongly rebuked my attitude for this week.
actually, keep inside, i was thankful for many things.
but i still cudnt help bitching about the minute things that went wrong, bcos i felt used/overworked/tired/selfish.

sorry to the pple (mainly my loved ones including my colleagues) who had to put up with my krap..

and sorry to God.. i failed my trial terribly this week..

long weekend has come to an end. sigh

2008-02-10T22:53:00.001+08:00

The real test of spiritual focus is being able to bring your mind and thoughts under control.

Is your mind focused on the face of an idol?

Is the idol yourself?

Is it your work?

Is it your idea of what a servant should be, or maybe your experience of salvation and sanctification?

If so, then your ability to see God is blinded.

You will be powerless when faced with difficulties and will be forced to endure in darkness.

If your power to see has been blinded, don’t look back on your own experiences, but look to God. It is God you need.

Go beyond yourself and away from the faces of your idols and away from everything else that has been blinding your thinking.

Wake up and accept the ridicule that Isaiah gave to his people, and deliberately turn your thoughts and your eyes to God.

people - the reason i love cnY :)

2008-02-08T10:28:00.000+08:00

cny :)

2008-02-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

it didn't strike me till 3pm today tt my brain has shut off
as usual, only when im forced to a stop, i realized how tired/high-strung i haf been
so thank God for the break!!!

last few days was also testimony to myself tt my emotional maturity has really stepped up
i guess its time since im already 25 :)

but its nice to just be comfortable being myself
mebbe many pple have had the luxury of that for yrs, but for me, its such a privilege!
and sorry for making some pple worry
yes i was sad but i also dun stay sad for long

life has so much more instore =)

am i so cryptic now.. oops

oh oh and nodame cantabile rocks!
so reminiscience of my band days!
thanks jem for the link :)

eh and oh, i think i mentioned this before, but i love cny bcos its probably the only day in the yr that most shops are closed in singapore. i like the fact tt pple wud take time off to be with the family. and bcos pple EXPECT stores to be closed, they stock up beforehand.
but then in this yr, i noticed many stores remaining open :( not v good sign le...

and finally.... blessed cny to everyoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =)

i almost forgot what sadness feels like..

2008-02-04T22:16:00.001+08:00

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart

and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

not the best of days
cos sad is an emotion i almost forgot
but it came back..
and lingered..

but yea, i think ill get over it. eventually :)

thank God for the week past

2008-02-02T14:04:00.000+08:00

im a proud survivor of the last week :)

thank God that 3 big meetings went well despite self-afflicted mental torture, lack of sleep and clobs that made me reach home at midnight :P

and more imptly, im thankful for a more sane frame of mind this weekend.
pampered myself w eyelash perm and eyebrow trim yday.
and finally bought a red dress for cny.

looking forward to meeting jo ltr!! and dg gathering tmr!! :)

2 learnings this week

1) im so super impressed w my big boss!!

oh gosh, i wunder if i can ever be such a salesperson.
good memory, perfect pitch, able to read other's SUPER SUBTLE body language and react accordingly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
im thoroughly impressed and hope i can be like that in 10 yrs too :P

2) i overstress myself way too much at the start

whenever i get a task, i run thru it in my mind nad the 5 million things that can go wrong
its kinda protective mechanism cos then when things do go wrong, i have anticipated it
but its also v unhealthy cos it makes things up to be what it may not be. as in, it may not be so bad, and that usually is the case.
so i basically stressed 150% for nothing..

ok other than tt, im really gonna soak up the weekend :)
this morning's run was soooooo good...

pls let the new week be better :)

2008-01-27T23:24:00.000+08:00

last week hasnt been the best of weeks
was feeling pensive for most of the weekend too

"The great thing about a fantasy is the possibility that it might come true, and when that chance gets taken away it just kinda...sucks"

but one thing im glad about is that at least with my closest friends now, i feel safe enough to truly say what i think in love, and trust that we will still be friends :)

ok, so for the days ahead, it will truly be a challenge to rely on Him daily (even my mental health..)

"A warning which needs to be repeated is that "the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches," and the lust for other things, will choke out the life of God in us....

"I say to you, do not worry about your life . . . ." Our Lord says to be careful only about one thing-our relationship to Him. But our common sense shouts loudly and says, "That is absurd, I must consider how I am going to live, and I must consider what I am going to eat and drink." Jesus says you must not. ...

"Sufficient for the day is its own trouble" (Matthew 6:34). How much trouble has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little demons have been looking into your life and saying, "What are your plans for next month— or next summer?" Jesus tells us not to worry about any of these things. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the "much more" of your heavenly Father (Matthew 6:30)."

sigh

2008-01-22T22:56:00.000+08:00

ok my whole body is burning but i cant get to sleep at all so i decided to blog

quite a lousy week so far
suspect cos im really sick this time so everything is just kinda down

was talking to pris last nite..
and i think im getting paranoid
but im wundering why im not too good at keeping my closest frens
ok at least i found pris back so thank God
but otherwise, wunder if there is something wrong with me
not enough love? too selfish?

i hate having useless un-actionable feelings
but been having them for quite some time now
irritate the heck outta myself but i cant seem to stop my mind from reeling..

ahhhhhhhhh ok shall try to sleep again :(

sick :(

2008-01-21T11:00:00.001+08:00

wish my immunity was better and tt i dun fall sick easily :(
blame the asthma+antibiotics since young..

hate feeling sick.
weak limbs.
susceptible to nightmares.

but guess its always a reminder to slow down and realize tt we dun 'own' our body per se.. cos even such a simple small flu can get me down.

zzzzzzzzzz :(

very cool ad :)

2008-01-20T17:29:00.000+08:00

ok quite tired from basic + all the deep discussions, but interesting ad.
for the marketing folks - cool right?? even tho i dunno what it has got to do with beer equity..

blessed birthday my dear cheryl k :)

2008-01-19T00:23:00.000+08:00

hi dear, in case u didnt get my sms this morning, this is a whole entry dedicated to u...

BLESSED BIRTHDAY

and thanks for these yrs of friendship. *hug*
always comfortable w u and thank God for that!!
see u real soon!!

tots early in the morning..

2008-01-16T08:24:00.000+08:00

realized my blog has quite transformed from "what am i doing" to "what am i thinking".
so facebook providing the avenue for "what am i doing" may not be a bad thing. heh. :P

aniwae, accidental finding this morning as i was reading devotion

"I’m reminded that the Bible doesn’t ask us to believe

in a God who fixes everything in this life."

even tho i have relatively good theological understanding bout why there is pain and suffering in this world, i still sometimes struggle with it, esp when i have seen/am seeing close frens struggle with cancer, pain and eventually death.

good reminder that what God needed to fix - sin - He has already fixed for all eternity.
whatever is now is transient :)

time flies

2008-01-13T23:12:00.000+08:00

i heard the noose on CNA and was honestly shocked.
remember laughing bout it with my dad last wee and its sunday night again!

anyway, 1st full working week in a whille.
flew by faster than i knew.
disappointments with some individuals, but thank God for angels at work to talk to and make me feel better, even tho they may not know it =)
ended the week with some encouraging news at work.
and a pat on the back from one of the pple i respect the work at work was priceless =)

first BASIC session today was great.
love the uni grp and thank God i ended there somehow.
even yl noticed i looked significantly less stressed than last week when i was trying to hang around the teenagers. heh.
thank God for reminders bout ministry thru yl.
now i juz hope i survive...

as i was doing my run today, i had a mental image of myself like a piece of dough
and im pulled in 5 different directions - God+ministry, work/career, social/emotional, intellectual and physical.
im trying to be actively serving in youth ministry
im trying to cope with ever increasing responsibilities at work
im trying to be the best family/friend i can be
im trying to stretch my mind continuously
im trying to be as fit as i can be

for now, i can still manage, but really, God knows how long i can keep this up..
especially with this distraction from the NIG.

ok.. shall curb the perfectionistic side of me.
take things as they come and DUN worry..... :)

reading 'STARBUCKED' this weekend.
amazing inspiring story on the business..

God, help me thru another week that promises to be very busy...

impressed..

2008-01-06T09:09:00.001+08:00

even though i havent followed the chinese music scene for many yrs now,

but i love the evergreens he sang - wen bie, one thousand reasons to be sad etc..

beautiful music never fails to move me :)

really wunderful God given voice.

so rich voice even when he was reclining in a chair/jumping up and down/post-screaming/singing after 3.5hrs

truly impressed with the voice and stamina.

thanks sl for going w me!!!

next time got good artiste - we shud get full priced hah :)

travel junkie........

2008-01-05T00:12:00.000+08:00

facebook's wishabi application is not GOOD - it fishes out every bit of travel junkie in me..

tahiti

bora bora

machu picchu

anyway, its amazing how after i got my personal OGSM done, i also do planning at work better =)

MTV groove starts tmr!!

fulfilled and purposeful =)

2008-01-03T23:53:00.000+08:00

entering the new yr with purpose bcos i spent time writing my personal OGSM.

yes, very business thing to do, complete with tracking and colour coding.. but i realized that if business is impt enough for me to draft an OGSM, what more my life.

so this is sharing my mental and spiritual dimensions ;P

so leaving these in God's hands.

i know changes will come along, but knowing what i what to achieve at the end of my life, and working that backwards to what to do on a yrly basis, makes daily choices so much easier.

so thank God for all the training at work that allows me this clarity and confidence.

ok sleepy.. hope everything will make plans to meet their resolutions =)

365 days passed.. who noes how many lie ahead?

2008-01-01T11:52:00.000+08:00

btwn these 2 pictures, exactly one yr have passed.
so many things happened in 2007, and yet i could remember 31st dec 2006 so vividly!!
freaky..

anyway very tired today.. but will do reflections and personal OGSM in private

God, thank you for the wonderful year
perhaps the best i have had so far
love u God, and help me to keep loving u more and more
if only u were more tangible, *mucks* Abba father hah

for my dear friends, i hope u "begin with the end in mind" this year
know what u want to achieve at the end of 08, or even the end of ur life, and work backwards so that the days dun fly by in a blur. lets all put the "big rocks" in first! =)

sisterhood

2007-12-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

it juz dawned about me today that God has blessed me with somehting i always wanted over the yrs but never really had till.. sometime around this yr

ok did a lot of spring cleaning.. and threw out stuff
also symbolic of the mental/spiritual part =)

not to be everything to everyone......

reflections piece

2007-12-23T23:51:00.000+08:00

before i went to Sentosa, i was having such an action packed life, i actually felt hollow within.
very ironic, but yes, i felt i needed the in-pouring of God, his teaching + HS + some good fellowship.
and so i did - listened to sermons online, did my reflections at Sentosa and had some good fellowship with liyi.
and i feel better :), but still not complete..
i guess the void comes from the lack of service, but i guess that will be fixed once BASIC starts swinging full time!

talked to Him about 2007
potentially the best yr in my life so far - most fulfilling, most content and most happy moments
and perhaps my first full yr of being single since i was 17
the many blessings

talked to Him about fears that even i may not fully recognize
fear of needing to be everything to everyone
fear of rejection and pple walking away
fear of my loved ones dying (tts more scary than me dying)
fear of my own pride
fear of being super high strung that ill snap one day
fears that only He can take away as i learn to submit...

talked to Him about my wants
the niceness to haf someone special to share my life with
but i know that will come when im ready
when that person wun become another god competing for attention :)

im in a totally holiday mode
gonna be a pain going back to work on wed :P

anyway, fotos on facebook at the following.. yes im a camwhore *heh* enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!
December photos
Birthday Photos
Club-hopping Photos
Sentosa Photos

oh yes, and i had a blast of a birthday
somehow, when getting older, i dun want ONE big birthday
but its the many catching up sessions with people who have touched my lives at various parts of my lives, that makes it so meaningful

it made me think about expections of pple and friends
and i wonder if true love means not having any expectations of people; if you really love people, then you shouldnt expect returns??
yet i cudnt help but remembered there were 2 pple who didnt remember.. and it is stingy PRECISELY bcos they are pple who matter..

ok im babbling.. time for bed :)

random things that made me miss bc

2007-12-10T20:11:00.000+08:00

Canucks News:

Last Game: L 2-0 @ MIN

Next Game: 5:30 PM PST Wed, Dec 5 @ CHI

Record: 14-10-2

Whistler/Blackcomb News:

Both mountains are open!

Current snowbase: 120cm

hah so faint in the memory and yet so real..

pretty insane weekend

2007-12-09T23:44:00.000+08:00

the last week has been extremely fulfilling

tues - met shuling and litong together after so many yrs!!

very nice.. my angel-mortal and adopted angel.. hah =) bestest seniors i had in jc.

wed after adult's meeting - managed to haf supper just 3 of us gals. was good fellowship :)

caught this cat outside nydc. its so cute and round i wunder if they fit it every night :P

then had a weekend jammed packed of activities..

fri - following a very high strung day at work that had the whole mdo b*tching, met dear cuiwen to celebrate her birthday. time flies ya.. quarter-century already =) god willing, may we have man more yrs together!

and thanks for the cupcake!! very nice *yummy*

also caught golden compass. not as athetist as i expected! even tho nicole kidman was pretty useless in the show.. the 13 yr old gal was good tho. must be tough on such a young gal to be away from home for so long to film!

sat - dg retreat to west coast

the pictures say a thousand words :)

first time i actually touched a kite :P

thanks long for the 'excursion' haha..

then after fretting the whole afternoon about what present to get.. later in the evening...jac's birthday celebrations @ boiler room!

me and birthday gal BEFORE she got wasted on the flaming drink :P

all the pretty gals :)

sun - after church, colin's rainy baptism..

im pretty tired.. but its nice to be busy.. bcos at least

im obsessing about other people in love ;)

and so finally..

2007-12-03T21:01:00.000+08:00

and so finalli i made the commitment to my youth ministry

wed - dg (pray i can still make it..)
thurs - clobs,
sat - basic
sun - service

kinda scary thinking bout it.. so i shant..
ill just pray that God brings me thru it all =)

the beginnings of december

2007-12-02T23:32:00.000+08:00

even tho i haf been struggling (real emotional tussle hah) with God about some stuff, but still many things to give thanks for =)

some random stuff
- neutrogena advanced peel + sk-II intensive whitening mask = lethal combination. my skin feels like baby skin :)
- exercise is good. makes me feel good!!

aniwae, been trying to catchup with friends and God's people since returning from the trip..

colin bro.. and he dragged me shopping for a suit!!

his super cool iphone!
ill get if the cam is 3.2 or 5! :P

DG chalet + my dear yiling's birthday

so happened to witness an accident down the road..

nice lunch w colleagues on friday despite month end closing =)

and my parents brought me shoe shopping..
new asics pair in 3 yrs =)
so my 1st birthday present even before december! thanks!!

weekend family lunch..
sleeping nefew..so cute :)

dinner @ MOF before luo zhi xiang's concert
enjoyed myself with the complimetary tics even tho dunno most of his songs..

Christian perfection

2007-12-02T18:23:00.001+08:00

pretty cheem theology but very back to basic idea - food for thought

It is a trap to presume that God wants to make us perfect specimens of what He can do— God’s purpose is to make us one with Himself. The emphasis of holiness movements tends to be that God is producing specimens of holiness to put in His museum. If you accept this concept of personal holiness, your life’s determined purpose will not be for God, but for what you call the evidence of God in your life. How can we say, "It could never be God’s will for me to be sick"? If it was God’s will to bruise His own Son ( Isaiah 53:10 ), why shouldn’t He bruise you? What shines forth and reveals God in your life is not your relative consistency to an idea of what a saint should be, but your genuine, living relationship with Jesus Christ, and your unrestrained devotion to Him whether you are well or sick.

Christian perfection is not, and never can be, human perfection. Christian perfection is the perfection of a relationship with God that shows itself to be true even amid the seemingly unimportant aspects of human life. When you obey the call of Jesus Christ, the first thing that hits you is the pointlessness of the things you have to do. The next thought that strikes you is that other people seem to be living perfectly consistent lives. Such lives may leave you with the idea that God is unnecessary— that through your own human effort and devotion you can attain God’s standard for your life. In a fallen world this can never be done. I am called to live in such a perfect relationship with God that my life produces a yearning for God in the lives of others, not admiration for myself. Thoughts about myself hinder my usefulness to God. God’s purpose is not to perfect me to make me a trophy in His showcase; He is getting me to the place where He can use me. Let Him do what He wants.

darn.. dis is quite accurate..

2007-11-30T23:40:00.000+08:00

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	82%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	71%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	72%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	28%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|\|\|	21%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	42%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	61%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	52%

Your main type is 1
Your variant is social

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very sad but beautiful song..

2007-11-30T21:22:00.001+08:00

december..

2007-11-30T13:48:00.000+08:00

as i said, i love december.
all the gatherings and pple.. but it also proves to be a super busy month......

1st Luo Zhi Xiang Concert
2nd Stan Chart Run
4th Dinner with Shuling and Liting
5th Adults’ Meeting @ SBC
6th CLOBS?
7th Cuiwen’s birthday dinner
8th DG retreat, Jac’s birthday celebrations
11th Dinner with Iris and Sharon
14th Dinner with Colleagues – Birthday + Xmas
15th Kevin’s wedding reception + Birthday dinner with family + Liyi stayover
16th Kevin’s wedding dinner
17th Birthday!
18th Dinner with sec school friends?
20-23rd Langkawi??
24th Stayover Party?
25th Xmas!
31st New Year’s Eve dinner

hmms hope i survive :P

impatience - a sin im very guilty of..

2007-11-26T19:43:00.000+08:00

When you get honest about it, impatience is a form of pride. It says, ‘I require immediate attention (because I’m too childish to wait); ‘My time is more important than the time of others;’ ‘I know better than anyone else what must be done;’ ‘My need is urgent, everyone else - get in the slow line.’

end of year approaching

2007-11-25T23:15:00.000+08:00

been feeling a little emo since i came back

trying to do more reflecting and thinking especially with the year coming to a close
i probably echo what many people have already said - time is flying by, the year has flown by and we are entering december

but it really has.
i remembered attending mk+xx's wedding last year on 30th dec
then the church new years eve dinner at neptune on 31st dec and the clubbing session
and so fast, we are booking table for this year's new years eve dinner...

it doesnt really scare me that time is flying back because i think im using my time as best as i can everyday. mebbe cud be more involved in God's work but other than that this year has been pretty fulfilling :)

- happy and contented for most part
- spent quality and quantity time with my parents and friends
- starting attending dg more regularly
- learning lotsa new stuff at work
- got my own ride
- 3 trips and mebbe 1 more to come

why do i love december?? i really cant pinpoint it..
i love the christmas lights along orchard road
i love the gatherings of people..
i love carols
i love the love in the air
i love that people are taking time off to take note of whats really impt in their life
i love it cos my birthday month
and most latest, i love it cos i get my bonus and i can splurge on pretty frivolous things like sk-II

but i must be getting old.. bcos..
im starting to love singapore again
im starting to find problem blogging so much haha...

aniwae i have watched a christmasy film and sang a carol more than 1 mth before christmas
but i love it :)

im home :)

2007-11-17T23:20:00.000+08:00

stuff i bought (not all for me!! including presents too :p) :

photos at:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21348&l=2e4a3&id=648876155

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21346&l=2e44a&id=648876155

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21345&l=46314&id=648876155

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21344&l=9aa63&id=648876155

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=21341&l=e5d5f&id=648876155

General reflections:

I do not like the rowdiness culture of China. No sense of civilized society generally. Not meaning that all the people aren’t nice (the taxi drivers try to talk to us because we obviously don’t sound local), but the general indifference to traffic rules, constant jostling for no apparent reason, aggressiveness, not queueing up and random spitting irks me. It’s quite sad that with such a technological advanced city like Shanghai, the people’s social behaviour has failed to catch up for now. Btw, it is not that I haven’t seen worse.. India has far worse traffic and living conditions, and even more crowded, but somehow seeing so called ‘your own people’ or rather people who share recent ancestral roots saddens me…

Feel that there is still subtle worship of the West. Everything ‘gao tang’/high-class seems to be a Western design e.g Xintiandi (think Holland V/Clarke Quay). I think they should build more things like Yuyuan – high end with a real Chinese feel. AND, fellow Chinese treat us a little better when you speak fluent English to them which they may not understand. Strange. Oh, and it’s funny how things branded Japanese works well in Singapore, but not in China. You should have Chinese face, or Caucasian face on the advertisements, or so those I observe.

Economically, no doubt that China is booming but they better watch the inequality. Perhaps if I was more ambitious, I would put up with the above things and try to do business there. I’m pretty sure with the right contacts and calculated investments, can ride along the boom to make money. Having lotsa rich people is good, but when majority of the people are really struggling to make ends meet, I think in the long run can result in a lot of crime/discontent in society that will cause the social crevice to widen. China felt relatively safe though, not like anyone is going to rob any minute. But it didn’t feel safe everytime I want to buy something. Always felt that I was gonna be ripped off or given something with no QC. Sigh.

Trip started off pretty slowly. Think because was sick.. but last few days was really a blast.. especially the last day even though super packed itinerary =) Love it because got to spend some time with people. Got to visit my cousin – see what her serviced apartment in SH and her house in Wuxi looks like. Got to spend whole day with Jiehao – doing funky cool stuff. Got to catch Boon for coffee and understand more about his work in SH. And of course, got to know Lisa a lot better!! I never knew she had such a loveeeeeeeeeeee for Starbucks. Heheh.

Initial disappointment was probably due more to personal expectations. Thinking Shanghai was going to be clean and organized was a big mistake. But glad it was a blast towards the end, especially the last day :)

Now upload photos… and back to working life on Monday :(

1st day in shanghai

2007-11-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

hello! thank God lisa brought her laptop.. so we got free internet connection :P

anyway, landed safely at 6 plus.. found our way to the service apartment
contacted my cousin and jiehao
then zzzzzzzzzzzzz till 12+ before waking up to have lunch

went to science and tech place and i concluded i dun like fake branded goods.
the real ones r better :P
and being chased around by aggressive old man trying to show u their grade A goods quite scary
but love the open spaces/kuang3 chang3s
found our way back to the big mall near our service apartment instead.

this trip is revealing my incompentency in mandarin *sigh*
off to hangzhou tmr.... hyatt here i come :P

please pray for my fren.. :(

2007-11-07T14:55:00.000+08:00

one of my fren from my prev church is critically ill..
please keep him in prayer =(
and a reminder to all to treasure what we have

"He had bleeding in the brain on Monday, about 1 pm singapore time.
It is caused by a malformation of blood vessel called AV malformation.

He is in ICU since monday, on life support.

A tube was inserted into the brain to relieve some pressure on monday.His has had 2 more bleed since whilst he is in ICU.

The doctor will perform a major surgery today and try to treat the abnormal blood vessel.

Please pray for him."

gonna be away in china... be back next saturday. tata..

why i heart weekends

2007-11-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

no higher calling

2007-11-04T20:27:00.000+08:00

a song that brought me to my tears during songs worship today.
bet no one around noticed. hahah.

this imagery has been in my mind for almost 2 weeks.
me at Jesus's feet.
He is so high up i cannot see Him.. but just being at His feet is very comforting =)

Down at Your feet O Lord,
Is the most high place,
In Your presence Lord,
I seek Your face, I seek Your face..

There is no higher calling,
No greater honour,
Than to bow and kneel before Your throne,
I'm amazed by Your glory, Embraced by Your mercy,
O Lord, I live to worship You.

and this is from one of the email's yl sent out.

JESUS FILTER.

my life would be so different if i could really practise this. *sigh*

I thought ofPaul's comment about how he no longer lived, but Christ was the oneliving in him (Galatians 2:20). He was basically saying that everythingin his life was now seen through the filter of Jesus (2 Corinthians5:16-17 says essentially the same thing!). Everything that happened tohim, every relationship he had and every hardship and blessing he experienced, was filtered through Jesus. Every wrong that was done tohim, every cruel word or action was filtered through the screen ofJesus.

What really struck me about these few wandering thoughts of mine wasthis: what a completely different life we can have if we filtereverything through Jesus! When we remember his sacrifice, his pain, hissuffering, his love and apply those to the happenings and relationshipsin our own lives, then our world will take on a different appearance.Our relationships will take on a different feel and closeness becauseour feelings and words first pass through the filter of Jesus.

toxified

2007-11-03T20:49:00.001+08:00

ever since i stopped blogging and just went crazy on facebook instead,
i feel that i haven't been emotionally detoxifying. so im back :)

last few mths have been extremely intensive @ work.
from what i can remember..

from august when i felt like an architect, drawing floor plan and adjacencies after learning it for the 1st time
to sept when my boss went on leave and i was holding 2 full accounts for a while
to oct where i worked 7 over-nights almost without zzzz-ing and going back to work

so i have been extremely laggy in the last week
and VERY glad to be going away for a while starting wed
i went to japan almost exactly half a yr ago but feels like a lifetime ago...........

even though making some headway in my walk with God
but almost been more tempted to be snappy at people
i feel so bad after, being a bad testimony but at that (super-lack-of-sleep) point in time, i really cudnt help it.
aniwae 1st time i blew up in a yr, i guess still justified :P

and so im back from my blogging hiatus.
will be back w more pics im sure.
meanwhile, shall try to pack

sniff sniff. feel like a full pledged floo is coming..

In everything

2007-11-01T17:11:00.000+08:00

In Everything==============

“In everything that I have created, your pain, your strugglesand your disappointments, there is beauty.

In everything the devil has created, even that which appears to be beautiful, is at its core, ugly.”
~God~

thankful heart

2007-10-29T21:19:00.000+08:00

pris asked me yesterday if this was the best time of my life..
i wun say the most blissful (somehow tts reserved of when im in love :p)..
but best time, yes

just filled with thanksgiving for my life
but the freedom
for all the love
for my family and frens

loving my life =)
perhaps i have learnt to love it whatever the circumstances..

no longer a nokia loyal user..

2007-10-15T00:12:00.000+08:00

after 5 nokia phones, i finally made the jump to sony ericsson.

by far the best fone i haf had.. :) slim, light, good camera..

just trying to get used to the buttons and features after 8yrs of nokia..

start w the ahlian 8810 when i was.. 16?

then this was the coolest 8250 fone in jc.. walk on the BLUE side..

then came colour! oh so cool 7210...

then came 3g.. but laggy..

re-hi..

2007-10-13T15:34:00.000+08:00

cant believe i have blogged on blogger for so long.

many things happened.. crossed my 1 yr mark@work..
facebook really takes up more time :P but much more fun!

aniwae, hope everyone still reading is doing well.. and some meaningful 20 things to remember :)

TWENTY THINGS TO REMEMBER
==========================

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry.

3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home every day.

4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.

6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.

9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day - it's like inner jogging.

11. The most important things in your home are the people.

12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional. (Preach it!)

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

16. We do not remember days but moments. Life moves too fast so enjoy your precious moments.

17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwise it's just hearsay.

18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.

19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting. Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for the angels to read. I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.