mike raiter on retirement

mike raiter spoke yesterday about typical thoughts on retiring early
is that productive for God?

then this morning.. i read this devotion:

We are all capable of being spiritually lazy saints. We want to stay off the rough roads of life, and our primary objective is to secure a peaceful retreat from the world. The ideas put forth in these verses from Hebrews 10 are those of stirring up one another and of keeping ourselves together. Both of these require initiative— our willingness to take the first step toward Christ-realization, not the initiative toward self-realization. To live a distant, withdrawn, and secluded life is diametrically opposed to spirituality as Jesus Christ taught it.

The real danger in spiritual laziness is that we do not want to be stirred up— all we want to hear about is a spiritual retirement from the world.Yet Jesus Christ never encourages the idea of retirement— He says, "Go and tell My brethren . . ."

Yes Lord, i get ur point - time to rethink my retirement plans :P

half a year on.. giving thanks :)

Im pretty sure the last 6 months have perhaps been the most intensive and yet fulfilling half year. I always do a pit stop in the middle of the year – have I taken the time to truly do what I want?

For the 1st time this year, despite being extremely busy, exhausted yet high adrenaline rushing, I think I have! Thank God, and it’s largely due to having a clear mission statement and OGSM (for the non-proctorized – objectives, goals, strategies, measures) in all the key areas in my life (spiritual, physical, social/emotional etc).

[Side point - now I truly believe that in setting goals, specifics are very important so I should say “I want to lose 20kg” instead of “I will go to the gym regularly”. [Btw, I did lose 20kg but put on 1kg in the past 2 weeks as I have been a slob, but rest when one is sick and cheat days are impt so it’s ok]. Because how often is ‘regularly’? How does one track success? Has to be specific and measurable!]

I think my walk with God has stabilized and matured because He allowed me to serve in BASIC. There was a part of me that felt that I had something to give when I started serving in youth, but in the end, I really realized I was merely God’s vessel, and it was a privilege to go through some experiences with the youth. Not because I’m better, but because I have been through similar experiences. Also, God grew me through the whole experience. He gave me more time and energy somehow to serve despite all that crazy amount of work. So yes, all glory to Him

For work, it has been very fulfilling. Looking back, I don’t know how I would have done it without His sustenance. But I have learnt a lot from this new portfolio – both soft and hard skills. Also, with new member on the team, still learning to let go and lead. Not easy days, and harder days always seem to lie ahead, but it’s been good. Hopefully, I can now get more sleep, lose less hair, not grow anymore white hair and actually feel like a normal person – not so high-strung all the time. Yes, especially since I see my 7 month old ‘baby’ on the shelves now :P

Family and friends-wise, I always feel I can do better, but I think I still kept my balance this semester. Met up regularly with the folks who really mattered to me and made 2 new close guy frens who both live around the novena area for some reason. Convenience. Hah! I think I saw my co-workers more often than I saw my family+dog for these 6 months. But yea, still in touch with people – what really matters to God and me :)

Of course it wasn’t ALL good ALL the time. Derek's sudden sickness (but he's well now yay!), Cheryl’s and John’s passing away in the same week was tough emotionally. Yet, both of them were sure where they were headed, so that helped. Had some hard times when relationships take a blow because of formal stuff, or I feel wronged/maligned with intentions taken wrongly.

So yes, very condensed half a year.
I can actually feel the tiredness set in as I fell sick and told myself to slow down and pace better.

Many thanks to all who spent good times with me,
And also those who prayed for me/there for me/checked on me when I was down/moody/talking rubbish bcos too tired
Especially the elect few [yes be honoured :P] who get smses from me at 3-5am in the morning, depending on whether I haven’t slept or woke up from brain overwork…

Thanks sincerely =)
Looking ahead, the best is yet to be………!!

give me faith to truly believe...

So often it looks like God is delaying or denying us, but his timing is perfect.

Next time you feel like you’re in God’s waiting room,

trust that God is working in his own perfect time on his own perfect plan –

which is so much better than anything we can plan or dream

powerful testimony - afshin

this is not meaning to be anti-muslim or political or whatever

just someone's powerful conversion story :)

its not tt only good things happen to christians

thank God im starting to understand maybe 1% of this..

----

When King David writes, “Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me,” he’s not saying, “Surely only good things will happen to me!”

The fact is bad things happen to good people. What David is teaching us is that God can take bad, evil, and difficult situations and bring something good out of them.

It’s one of God’s great promises to us: we can know that all things are working for our good “if we love God and are fitting into his plans” (Romans 8:28 LB). If you’re a believer, the Bible says all things are working together for good – not that all things are good, but that they work together for good. There’s no difficulty, dilemma, defeat, or disaster in life that God can’t ultimately turn toward good.

When you understand God’s grace and mercy, there’s no need to fear the future. God isn’t trying to get even with you. Jesus shouldered the penalty for everything you’ve ever done wrong or will do wrong. He paid for it on the cross. So when a bad thing happens, you don’t have to think, “God’s getting even with me.” That’s how God’s grace and mercy work.

Mercy, like goodness, follows us in life. Picture a parent following a little child around picking up after them; God is constantly picking up our messes.

Think about this:

· Christians go to the future, not with a question mark, but with an exclamation point. God will be with you no matter what happens. He will help you out.

· God’s goodness provides and protects;God’s mercy pardons and forgives. God’s goodness will supply; God’s mercy will sooth. God’s goodness will help; God’s mercy will heal.

· Goodness is the fact that God gives us good things in life that we don’t deserve.Mercy means God holds back the condemnation we deserve.

interesting perspective - God not singing us to sleep

". . . and I will give you rest"— that is, "I will sustain you, causing you to stand firm."
He is not saying, "I will put you to bed, hold your hand, and sing you to sleep."

But, in essence, He is saying, "I will get you out of bed— out of your listlessness and exhaustion, and out of your condition of being half dead while you are still alive. I will penetrate you with the spirit of life, and you will be sustained by the perfection of vital activity."

Yet we become so weak and pitiful and talk about "suffering" the will of the Lord!
Where is the majestic vitality and the power of the Son of God in that?

thought of the day

Success is not measured by what you do compared to what others do,

it is measured by what you do with the ability God gave you.

timely word for my struggles

June 3, 2008
"The Secret of the Lord"

The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him . . .

—Psalm 25:14

What is the sign of a friend? Is it that he tells you his secret sorrows? No, it is that he tells you his secret joys. Many people will confide their secret sorrows to you, but the final mark of intimacy is when they share their secret joys with you. Have we ever let God tell us any of His joys? Or are we continually telling God our secrets, leaving Him no time to talk to us? At the beginning of our Christian life we are full of requests to God. But then we find that God wants to get us into an intimate relationship with Himself— to get us in touch with His purposes. Are we so intimately united to Jesus Christ’s idea of prayer— "Your will be done" ( Matthew 6:10 )— that we catch the secrets of God? What makes God so dear to us is not so much His big blessings to us, but the tiny things, because they show His amazing intimacy with us— He knows every detail of each of our individual lives.

"Him shall He teach in the way He chooses" ( Psalm 25:12 ). At first, we want the awareness of being guided by God. But then as we grow spiritually, we live so fully aware of God that we do not even need to ask what His will is, because the thought of choosing another way will never occur to us. If we are saved and sanctified, God guides us by our everyday choices.

And if we are about to choose what He does not want, He will give us a sense of doubt or restraint, which we must heed. Whenever there is doubt, stop at once. Never try to reason it out, saying, "I wonder why I shouldn’t do this?"

God instructs us in what we choose; that is, He actually guides our common sense. And when we yield to His teachings and guidance, we no longer hinder His Spirit by continually asking, "Now, Lord, what is Your will?"

calm centre

The cyclone derives its powers from a calm center.

So does a person.

~Norman Vincent Peale~

and for me, the calmness comes only from the Prince of Peace :)

its tough, but surely rewarding

April 28, 2008
What You Will Get

I will give your life to you as a prize in all places, wherever you go —Jeremiah 45:5

This is the firm and immovable secret of the Lord to those who trust Him— "I will give your life to you . . . ." What more does a man want than his life? It is the essential thing. ". . . your life . . . as a prize . . ." means that wherever you may go, even if it is into hell, you will come out with your life and nothing can harm it. So many of us are caught up in exhibiting things for others to see, not showing off property and possessions, but our blessings. All these things that we so proudly show have to go. But there is something greater that can never go— the life that "is hidden with Christ in God" ( Colossians 3:3 ).

Are you prepared to let God take you into total oneness with Himself, paying no more attention to what you call the great things of life? Are you prepared to surrender totally and let go? The true test of abandonment or surrender is in refusing to say, "Well, what about this?" Beware of your own ideas and speculations. The moment you allow yourself to think, "What about this?" you show that you have not surrendered and that you do not really trust God. But once you do surrender, you will no longer think about what God is going to do. Abandonment means to refuse yourself the luxury of asking any questions.

If you totally abandon yourself to God, He immediately says to you, "I will give your life to you as a prize . . . ." The reason people are tired of life is that God has not given them anything— they have not been given their life "as a prize." The way to get out of that condition is to abandon yourself to God. And once you do get to the point of total surrender to Him, you will be the most surprised and delighted person on earth. God will have you absolutely, without any limitations, and He will have given you your life. If you are not there, it is either because of disobedience in your life or your refusal to be simple enough.

takes a lot of faith to believe this

“What man among you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake?

If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,

how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!”

(Matthew 7:9-11, HCSB)

God-work-not mutually exclusive

“Unless you can make a connection between what you do all day and what you think God wants you to be doing, you will never find ultimate meaning in your work or your relationship with God.”
– Doug Sherman & William Hendriks

Besides being physically tired, I think last 2 months have been torturous for my mental/emotional well-being because I have been feeling a tremendous amount of guilt. (I am very susceptible to guilty, and it is also something I have come to learn to thank God for when it is in the right doses, because it reminds me to often come back to the narrow path.)

Main reason is because I feel that I have been working too hard and I have not internally sync-ed my daily work to God’s bigger purpose. Which is why I set aside some personal time with God tonight to do some reflections..

In last few months, when I invest many hours into work, it isn’t about perfecting the work or trying to please someone, it’s simply to finish the work. And I feel guilty because I no longer know if it is right to work such long hours at the expense of sleep, personal time and leisure time. At least I can say that it hasn’t been at the expense of ministry, CLOBS or church because I have made those things un-compromisable.

But still, I have never felt so out of control of my schedule.

Till recently, I have never been so tired.

Never slept for so little in such long stretches in a row.

Never been unable to sleep well for so many nights.

Never dreamt about filling up excel sheets.

Seriously never worked/focused so hard in my life because I usually got around being last minute.
I think the time I studied the hardest was for my ‘A’s, and if that was 70% effort, now is 95%.

And yet at the same time, I also feel very blessed.

I haven’t really been able to do regular QT, but I do pray in small spurts throughout the day, and I’m very conscious of the fact that He is the one sustaining me, every cell of my body, and reminding me of many things at work that I might have forgotten otherwise.

He is made strong in my weaknesses.

He has placed people at work to bless me and coach me and remind me of important things in life, both professionally and personally.

“Work is a consequence of creation, not the fall; the fall has aggravated the problems without destroying its joys.” – John R.W. Stott

I really thank God I still love the work and I do and enjoy it very much.

Because it is very easy to hate the work that makes me work long hours.
But somehow, because of many factors, I still enjoy it. So for that, very thankful. :)

So anyway, I really wanted to reflect and check on my own motives about work.

And also, it has dawned upon me that the skills I am learning at work are not incongruent with God’s principles.

And I tried to do some matching!

Even though I have sorted out the intentions, and more clear that the skills I am learning and practicing at work is congruent with God’s teachings, I don’t think the struggles of balancing work with other things in life will ever fully go away for me.

I am still a sinful person who will forget about the intentions, the love for others when the crunch comes.

But at least now I think my work purpose is more aligned with His purpose for me :)

For other workaholics who need a little a little rehab and perspectives like me :)
http://www.bible.org/page.php?page_id=528

really tired but can't get to bed

real sign of stress when im really tired, physically and mentally, but haven't been able to zzzz :(

understand how sheela feels when she cant get to bed! then u r stressed about not being able to sleep.. then it goes into the cycle..

but its nice to catch breakfast with my parents :)
and bought a new phone. kek. satisfied my lust at $268 *grinZ*
and booked our tour to bangkok!! yay!!
and catching up on anime
and playing around with my new toy :)

things will get better.
full day seminar on prayer tmr! yay! shud be good cos im needing it :)

emo

i have always been kinda an emo person..
i used to cry more for selfish reasons - pride, anger, someone slighted me etc

but God gave me tears for someone im not really close to...but someone i was really looking to noeing better, to riding in his car..

i like the fact i am starting to care for pple in a deep, real manner...
but it also means i feel their pain and suffering deeply too...

grieve for those who grieve.. i think im starting to have a faint idea of that...

its so hard not to be selfish.
really makes me wonder why some pple can think they are all righteous? hmm..

end week reflections

its really nice to be able to sit down quietly on a sunday night to think, reflect and blog.
my dads at work. again. *sigh* poor thing.
my mum and dog is sleeping.
the silence is so comforting to my ears cos all i haf had was hustle and bustle for too long perhaps :)

looking back, its only been about 20 days since after cny.
but i was working so intensely+long hrs these past 3 weeks, only when everything paused on friday night did i realize i might have been approaching some kinda burnout.

- the sleep depravity was just insane..
- nearly fell asleep behind the wheel *dangerous!!!* thats why im kinda afraid of driving..
- i grew 3 ulcers in 1 night :(
its amazing how God kept me from falling really ill.. so thank You!!

liyi stayed over last night.
and it was really nice catching up by the pool
even though i see her pretty often, i think its the 1st time in more than 2 months we spent time with just 2 of us.
i talked and shared bout a lot of stuff.. but one thing that struck me as i was sharing..

i think i have really changed a lot in the last yr plus. its for the better cos i think i have matured.
God has helped me become more secure about who i am, and the relationships i have with people.
of cos there are always still room to grow, but this alone is a significant breakthrough :)

God also been showing me some ugly things about myself.
everyone has their struggle.. so mine was guilt and selfishness.
sometimes i realized i have always been so gifted at positioning since young that actually i have wrong intentions towards others, but i can package it to others (and even myself.. yes it bypasses the conscious state) that what i did was good for them.
its kinda scary as God revealed some of these things, but im also glad, cos then i can be more conscious of my own intentions and be more loving.

*doing what i hate

"For I do not understand my own actions.

For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. "

Romans 7:15

when i was a younger Christian, at least i could say that some of the sins i struggled with are things that i coveted. like good grades for pride. at least these were ungodly things that i wanted.

but in recent times, its become exactly like the verse above.

i dun even understand, cos i hate some things im doing (like e.g what i said about.. being unreal about my intentions) and yet somehow i end up doing it.

sin is such a scary, strange thing.

*worry

Once we see Jesus, the impossible things He does in our lives become as natural as breathing.

(er, i lack faith to believe that this is even possible..

so i hope i can even see this in my imagination :P)

The agony we suffer is only the result of the deliberate shallowness of our own heart.

We won’t believe; we won’ t let go by severing the line that secures the boat to the shore—

we prefer to worry.

* waiting for God

Waiting for God is hard – God is not surprised when we’re honest about our frustrations and fears.

Often God requires us to wait because he’s trying to show us the end of our faith,

stretching our faith, not condemning us for the lack of it.

In these moments, seek God and not the answer.

---------------

and completely outta point, but these are some of the atas food places i wanna try :)

- Prive, Keppel Bay
- Indochine, Indochinese, Empress Place
- 1827, Thai, Asian Civilization Museum
- Pier 11 Restaurant (31 Marina Coastal Drive )

this is tough when i lack sleep :(

"And whatever you do, in word or deed,
do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus

giving thanks to God the Father through him."

-- Colossians 3:17

This was a verse i knew since i was a very young Christian, and reminded of it when i was doing my backdated CLOBS homework this week.

such a simple verse, and yet so hard to carry out, because it demands absolute dying to self.

and i feel so guilty cos i been complaining more than usual this week.. but anyway, TGIF.
been a tough time since after CNY, but yeah, whatever doesnt break you makes one stronger :)

tots early in the morning..

realized my blog has quite transformed from "what am i doing" to "what am i thinking".
so facebook providing the avenue for "what am i doing" may not be a bad thing. heh. :P

aniwae, accidental finding this morning as i was reading devotion

"I’m reminded that the Bible doesn’t ask us to believe

in a God who fixes everything in this life."

even tho i have relatively good theological understanding bout why there is pain and suffering in this world, i still sometimes struggle with it, esp when i have seen/am seeing close frens struggle with cancer, pain and eventually death.

good reminder that what God needed to fix - sin - He has already fixed for all eternity.
whatever is now is transient :)

fulfilled and purposeful =)

entering the new yr with purpose bcos i spent time writing my personal OGSM.

yes, very business thing to do, complete with tracking and colour coding.. but i realized that if business is impt enough for me to draft an OGSM, what more my life.

so this is sharing my mental and spiritual dimensions ;P

so leaving these in God's hands.

i know changes will come along, but knowing what i what to achieve at the end of my life, and working that backwards to what to do on a yrly basis, makes daily choices so much easier.

so thank God for all the training at work that allows me this clarity and confidence.

ok sleepy.. hope everything will make plans to meet their resolutions =)

sisterhood

it juz dawned about me today that God has blessed me with somehting i always wanted over the yrs but never really had till.. sometime around this yr

ok did a lot of spring cleaning.. and threw out stuff
also symbolic of the mental/spiritual part =)

not to be everything to everyone......

reflections piece

before i went to Sentosa, i was having such an action packed life, i actually felt hollow within.
very ironic, but yes, i felt i needed the in-pouring of God, his teaching + HS + some good fellowship.
and so i did - listened to sermons online, did my reflections at Sentosa and had some good fellowship with liyi.
and i feel better :), but still not complete..
i guess the void comes from the lack of service, but i guess that will be fixed once BASIC starts swinging full time!

talked to Him about 2007
potentially the best yr in my life so far - most fulfilling, most content and most happy moments
and perhaps my first full yr of being single since i was 17
the many blessings

talked to Him about fears that even i may not fully recognize
fear of needing to be everything to everyone
fear of rejection and pple walking away
fear of my loved ones dying (tts more scary than me dying)
fear of my own pride
fear of being super high strung that ill snap one day
fears that only He can take away as i learn to submit...

talked to Him about my wants
the niceness to haf someone special to share my life with
but i know that will come when im ready
when that person wun become another god competing for attention :)

im in a totally holiday mode
gonna be a pain going back to work on wed :P

anyway, fotos on facebook at the following.. yes im a camwhore *heh* enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!
December photos
Birthday Photos
Club-hopping Photos
Sentosa Photos

oh yes, and i had a blast of a birthday
somehow, when getting older, i dun want ONE big birthday
but its the many catching up sessions with people who have touched my lives at various parts of my lives, that makes it so meaningful

it made me think about expections of pple and friends
and i wonder if true love means not having any expectations of people; if you really love people, then you shouldnt expect returns??
yet i cudnt help but remembered there were 2 pple who didnt remember.. and it is stingy PRECISELY bcos they are pple who matter..

ok im babbling.. time for bed :)